What's Right With You?

During my elementary and middle school years, I vividly remember hearing "What's wrong with you?" No, it wasn't always me being asked that. It seemed that whenever a person didn't respond/act/say/look in a manner appealing to the questioner, the inquisition began.

I never had someone ask me "What's right with you?"

Is it any wonder that our society is governed from a deficits-based perspective? Clients can rattle of a litany of disorders, problems, symptoms but peer back at me, speechless when I've asked simple questions like, "What are your talents?" "What do you like to do for fun?"

A favorite question of mine is from a friend/colleague that I trained with over twelve years ago - Nan Henderson (check out www.resiliency.com for some of her work).

At my initial training, Nan asked the participants, "What do you do better than 10,000 other people?" The question assumes that you do in fact do something better than 10,000 other people. Considering our global population approaches seven billion, the odds are in your favor that this is in fact true.

This question challenges us to acknowledge our talents, skills, gifts - things that make us special, even extraordinary although we (or others) may see ourselves as rather ordinary or even sub-ordinary.

What I find most interesting about this exercise is that the things I consider my own "attributes, strengths and talents" are the same things that others interpret as "flaws and deficits".  My use of humor and levity during difficult times is a skill that's kept me resilient. Others have interpreted this as insensitivity or an incapability of taking things seriously.

I invite you to ask yourself, "What's right with you?"

The list you assemble will come in handy at times when you think, act or feel like you're not able to stay above the fray.

Thanks for letting me share.
Kirk